It's Not a Contest
/I am a recovering perfectionist. Like many people, I’ve spent years trying to get everything just right. I call it the “Hallmark Effect” because it reminds me of those movies filled with perfect people, perfect homes, perfectly scripted problems, and solutions that lead to everyone living happily ever after.
Perfection, of course, is an illusion. I’ve always known that — and yet I spent decades exhausting myself trying to do things better. Setting a beautiful table. Cooking the perfect meal. Finding the most thoughtful gift. Creating the best presentation. Solving problems the right way.
A dear friend used to say, “Quit slaying dragons and enjoy life more.” I would laugh and tell her she didn’t understand. I had responsibilities. Who had time to slow down?
Then my health suffered, and I learned something important: life isn’t a contest.
Nobody is keeping score. Nobody cares if I do more or less, move faster or slower, keep a spotless house, or finish all the laundry. I’m the one placing the pressure on myself.
My recovery has been an ongoing process. One decision after another. What’s different now is how I choose. Instead of striving for a perfect 10 in everything, I aim lower — and live better. A “great” 6 is often more than enough. A “good enough” 2 frees up time to read, rest, or talk with a friend. Consciously choosing less brings more peace.
Last night, while walking through the airport, I felt my stress start to rise. I slowed my pace and let others pass. I didn’t have to keep up. I didn’t have to absorb everyone else’s urgency. I took a deep breath, smiled, and chose the more relaxing stroll over the stress of rushing. My mood improved immediately.
My wish for you this holiday season is simple: choose in ways that bring you peace and joy. It’s not a contest. We get to decide how we move, what we give our energy to, and when “good enough” truly is enough.
Your Gentle Challenge
When you feel yourself pushing toward perfection, pause.
What would a 10 look like?
What about a 6?
Or a 2?
What’s good enough — or even unnecessary altogether?
Sometimes the most generous choice is choosing less.
Tiny Self-Care Tip
When stress rises, pause and ask: “What would good enough look like right now?”
“You are allowed to be a person, not a performance.”
What I’m Reading
I’m anxious to start the new year reading about the lessons Melinda French Gates shares while navigating her transitions – the common and the unique.
What I’m Reading
Along with the self-improvement books I read fiction, (especially mysteries) every night. I just finished Cathy Lamb’s “Henry’s Sisters” and am currently reading “Black Wolf” by Louise Penny.
Upcoming Events
The Good Grief Group has Moved!
We will meet virtually the first Saturday of the month at 9:00 AM Pacific time. Anyone experiencing any kind of loss is welcome to attend. Register on my website Event page for Zoom link.
Reflection and Goals Tool
A special gift for you! Soon I’ll be sending you my “Reflection and Goals Tool.” Take your time to reflect about 2025 and then join in for celebration and discussion on
Saturday, January 10 9:00-10:30 AM Pacific!
Register on my website Event page for Zoom link.
Sometimes there are tech issues. If you have any problems with registering or receiving a link, please contact melody@melodywestconsulting.com.
Stay Connected
Are you enjoying the newsletter? Is there something you’d like to see? Do you share it with others? I’d love to hear from you!
May you end this year knowing there is no finish line — only choices, and the freedom to make them with kindness.
Melody